It is now less than two days before Christmas and I have done zero shopping. I have the time to shop. Plenty of time. But I put it off as long as I can.
I’m averse to a lot of things about the season to be jolly. It’s what most people usually say before heading out on a spree. Jammed parking lots, commercialization, rude people scurrying around stores.
But, if I’m honest, the main reason I so hate shopping is that I’m afraid I will disappoint someone. A gift that does not measure up, If I see a glimmer of sadness in their eyes, really, how can I live with that? That’s one thing I’ve learned. Hand someone a gift and don’t look them in the eyes.
Nebra and I made an agreement this year. We would cut back severely on gifts. Possibly not even buying anything.
But how many times have I heard, “Oh, don’t buy me anything this year. I have everything I need.” Then when you don’t they’re distraught. “He should have known I didn’t mean it.” You can see the rage building. It will come back to haunt you.
We do have a tree. Already a few gifts lay beneath it but they are from family and friends.
One thing makes me believe Nebra is not with the program. Several days ago she placed two Santa stockings above the fireplace, one for me and one for her.
Those empty stockings, I think, are filled with hope, with expectancy. Maybe Nebra thinks it will be Santa, and not me, that drops something in there.
For sure I best go out soon to buy something. Anything at this point will do. I am not yet desperate. That would come tomorrow.
If I could blow up Christmas, I would.