Porn for Republicans

I stopped reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” yesterday.  I concluded only a Republican could endure this juvenile and poorly-written piece of pornography from beginning to end.   That it has risen here in the 21st Century to No. 1 on the New York Times list of bestsellers baffles me.

Whatever the reason, it is perfect for the GOP.   A male character named Christian, a captain of industry, a filthy rich dictatorial Alpha male, young and “unbelievably” handsome, aka Christian Grey.  A naive female lead character named Anastasia Steele who is a sexually-compliant virgin, under age at least mentally and more than eager to be tutored by Mr. Grey.

Grey is apparently blessed with the only physical attribute that matters in this book and is so god-like there is nothing he can’t do.   So the author tells us.  He pilots his own helicopter and even plays classical music on the piano with virtuoso.  But reading the words, particularly the silly dialogue, you can easily adduce both characters are rather stupid and superficial.

A man of action and conquest, Christian is utterly selfish and has not a milligram of sensuality or humility.  Not to mention his kinkiness.   All of this is pure Republican fantasy, particularly if you understand the GOP, its platform and attitude toward women.

That women of this era, in large numbers apparently, buy into this mind-numbing novel is beyond me.  Ms. Steele signs a contract, a non-disclosure agreement, part of which dubs her “the Submissive” to “the Dominant, Mr. Grey.  I can feel the queen of female liberation, Gloria Steinem, bristling way out here in the arid lands.   Is this book a watershed moment?  Are women retreating to the Dark Ages?  I read somewhere “Anastasia” in the Greek means “resurrection.”

Believe it or not, there is better fare in this genre.  D. H. Lawrence’s “Lady Chatterley’s Lover,” is a good place to start.  Or Henry Miller’s “Tropic of Cancer.”  Neither is porn.  Both are regarded as classics in literature.  Those books were once banned by conservative religious zealots years ago.  But then neither glorified the GOP ideal, to be super rich and powerful, as does “Shades.”

Anyway, let the record show this.  I stopped reading “Shades” at Page 114, a few pages into Chapter 9 and not even a third of the way through.

In the unlikelihood of an insane moment overtaking me, I’ll try to dig up a Republican somewhere to tell me how “Shades” ends.  It should be easy to do in Arizona.


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