Little girls in the men’s room

I’m waiting to use the urinal this afternoon in the men’s restroom at a busy central Phoenix restaurant.  No big deal.  I’m second in line, no urgency, just standing there thinking thoughts I no longer remember.  And then out of one of the stalls pops a young girl led by a man I assumed to be her father.

This is not a baby girl.  Not even a toddler.  I know kids well enough to estimate her age at around 4, maybe 5.  Another man, not four feet away, is using the urinal.  The “father” holds the girl’s hand and seems to shield her from the urinal as they walk across the room to the door and out.  There is a slender chance I could be wrong, that this child is a young boy in drag.  But I don’t think so. 

I would not mention the incident except for one thing.  It is the second time this has happened in less than a month.  

Just before the Cardinals last regular season game at their stadium in Glendale, I walked into one of the men’s restrooms behind a man and a young girl.  She too appeared 4 or 5 years old. My head swiveled as I saw her as did the heads of several others.  I think everyone was too stunned to say anything.   The man got in a line to use the urinals and left the girl nearby at a wall where whe could see him at all times.  When he went off to do his business, she peeked around the corner.  Not more than six feet from her eyes was a man at a urinal.  I have no idea what she saw. 

But I do know this.  It should not have happened.  Girls have no place in men’s restrooms.  And it’s not only little girls who find themselves in the wrong place. 

Two weeks ago, Nebra was in the women’s locker room at the Downtown YMCA, preparing for a gym workout.  She described how two boys, ages 6 or 7, passed through the room with a woman making  their quick exit from the swimming pool.

I don’t pretend to know what these adults were thinking, if thinking at all. But I’ll bet they were thinking of only themselves.  I know damn sure they weren’t thinking about me and my rights to privacy or anyone else’s. 

I’m not a prude.  Nor am I one to tell a parent how to raise a child.  But if a young girl, say, who can not take care of her toilet business by herself or she is not old enough to be left alone while daddy takes a whiz,  well, she should stay home.  Or petition the venue to bring in a port-a-john expressly for such situations. 

I can take it a step further.  On a recent trip to Rome, I was using the urinal in the basement of the Termini, the train station.  As I stood there finishing up, a crew of janitors came in with mops and buckets and began to work, chattering away.  Everyone of the janitors was a woman.  A European thing, I thought, but now I see differently.  The unisex toilet apparently has spread to this isolated region in the desert. 

If this is a trend, a new openness among the sexes, then I’m not ready for it.   Make a law, put up signs if need be, levy hefty fines.  I’m up to my ears with arrogant parents who think they and their kids have a right to stampede their personal values on everyone else.


7 thoughts on “Little girls in the men’s room

  1. I’m the dad of a 3 1/2 year old girl. She spends much of her time in my care. We go to ballgames, museums, restaurants, shows, everywhere. Of course she has to use the restroom often (six times in seven innings!), and of course my only option is to take her into the men’s room. So you’re saying I should never take her out until she’s old enough to use a women’s room by herself? She should never go out with her dad until she’s 7 or 8?

    • I can’t tell whether you’re serious but I’ll pretend you are. Your dilemma with your daughter isn’t the only consideration here. You take the selfish position that only your view counts. What about my right to privacy in the men’s restroom? I don’t want your daughter in there, and I’m assuming a lot of other men don’t either. You do have options. I’m sure you’re aware of them.

      • So if I need the toilet when I’m with my daughter what do you want me to do? Leave her unattended? She’s not old enough to use female restroom on her own so I take her in with me? How is that selfish in any way, not like I’m taking her in there for the fun of it. Besides, its hardly a breach of your privacy, not like the daughters are standing 1 foot away staring at your dick – sounds like [you’re] afraid in case a little girl watches you piss. Wtf

      • First, Matt, who are you to tell me what “breaches” my privacy? Everyone has his or her own idea of what privacy is. A solution is up to you. But I can practically guarantee that if your daughter is over the age of 2 and you continue to bring her into men’s restrooms you’re eventually going to get feedback and maybe even in a belligerent way. And who wants to subject their young daughters to what could be a traumatic incident over something that could be avoided? I would also advise working on your vocabulary, particularly when it comes to using junior high words v. those used by intelligent adults.

  2. I agree with matt, you are a huge pussy. You should have said something, because my money is on all of the guys “too stunned to say something” telling you to shut the fuck up and mind your own godamn business. If this really bothers you, you have a lot of growing up to do kid. The fact is there are real world situations where little tiny first world discomforts don’t fucking matter. It was very wise of the father/guardian not to leave a little girl unattended, and if that means bringing her into the restroom SO FUCKING BE IT. I would have done the same. We are all human beings, we all have a human body. The discomfort you feel in this situation is some strange product of entitlement, shame and cowardice. Purge it from your being, as quickly and quietly as you can.

  3. I think it’s actually a common courtesy (maybe not so common anymore) that parents can bring their children of the other sex into a public bathroom, but the child must be below 8 years of age. I constantly saw signs over in Germany both on military bases and off, noting this courtesy.

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